


Tarot

by Anonymous



Category: Homestuck, Persona 4
Genre: Gen, Prompt Fill
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-02-22
Updated: 2011-02-21
Packaged: 2017-10-16 02:51:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 4,197
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/167634
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Captchalogue Prompt:Homestuck/Persona4 crossover pleeeeeeeease</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 0: Fool

(okay I lied a LITTLE bit, since I've been racking my brains for ages trying to figure out what Jade's Shadow should be like and just can't figure it out. If anybody else has suggestions, I am happy to listen! I seriously just can't think of anything. Regardless, have the other three kids!)

There is one more door before you and the Denizen. You pop a few gushers in your mouth to max out your health vial, tighten your grip around the hammer and advance.

With a dramatic flair only befitting a street tough maverick with nothing to lose, you kick that door down and charge in with hammer raised and the Breeze whipping your cape and hood around you.

 

hahaha oh man  
you really just did that? shit, we are the biggest nerd!

 

You lower the hammer and stare, you're looking at...yourself?

 

hey i'm just adding a bit of drama to it, what's wrong with that?

 

Kind of. He's wearing your old shorts and slimer shirt, and his eyes are glowing yellow, and he's got a weird smirk on his face you've never seen on yourself. You're not sure you could even make that face.

That isn't you. This must be some kind of weird trick of the game. You get ready to strife, but hesitate. The denizen is using your face and your voice, but you can't figure out why. Maybe it's something important. Maybe it's just to get in your head.

 

OTHER JOHN  
hahahahaha!  
i seriously don't know how anybody puts up with you  
i mean offline, nobody really does! who wants to talk to the weird kid who only goes on and on about shitty movies and friends they've never even met?  
not me, i know that much.

JOHN  
hey! that's not fair. plenty of people like me. and my movies aren't shitty, you don't know what you're talking about

OTHER JOHN  
don't whine, i'm just pointing out what we already know, what you already think. that you're just some lame kid, some loser who isn't good at anything except screwing up and -

JOHN  
shut up!

 

You swing the hammer at him, but he just blows you back and you land on your ass.

 

JOHN  
urgh...who are you? what the hell are you doing here?

He started laughing and it's a grating, high-pitched noise. Something just isn't right here.

OTHER JOHN  
you haven't figured it out yet? jesus, i am so unbelievably stupid.  
put two and two together dumbass. who looks like you, talks like and thinks like you?

JOHN  
uuuh?

OTHER JOHN  
you, stupid! i mean come on jackass, it's obvious, i'm you! dad should have really just left us in that crater, he would've been better off than trying to deal with some lame loser kid who shoves him away -

JOHN  
shut up!

OTHER JOHN  
spends all their time learning stupid magic tricks and -

JOHN  
shut up! i don't think like that

 

He smirks and you want to hit him, you want to absolutely pulverise him, just to shut him up.

 

OTHER JOHN  
uh i think you do! duuh, its all over our bedroom walls, stupid. like I said about two seconds ago, i'm you.

JOHN:  
no you're not!

 

He starts laughing, and smoke is rising from under his feet. You're on your feet, and ready to strike, but your head is spinning.

In a flash he's gone, and replaced with a huge ugly harlequin doll, wielding two hammers and cackling.

 

i am a shadow, the true self!  
and i'll give us what we deserve


	2. II: Priestess

II: Priestess

You're kind of panicking. Rose isn't online, in fact nobody is. You just flew here as fast as you could after your Denizen battle, knowing everybody is heading for theirs.

From behind the door, you hear voices. Maybe she's facing her already.

You're going in anyway. It was horrible facing it alone, you're not about to let any of your friends do the same...

rose! are you okay?

Hm? John?

 

One of the Roses turns around.

 

ROSE  
Yes, I'm quite fine. This girl, however, is causing quite a stir. Was your Denizen battle similar? I didn't quite expect something like this. It's quite an interesting psychological tactic, stealing our faces and mimicing our voices like this. I suspect it's a test of character.

SHADOW ROSE  
Do you ever stop talking?

 

Rose turns back around, pointing a wand straight at the other girl's throat.

 

ROSE  
Excuse me, it's rude to interrupt somebody while they're speaking.

SHADOW ROSE  
It's the only way anybody can get a word in edgeways with you though. Otherwise you'll just prattle off anything you've read, anything that makes you sound intelligent. Ours should be the only voice that matters.

ROSE  
That's quite enough, you're talking nonsense. Let's end this silly charade and simply have our real battle.

SHADOW ROSE  
I'm speaking perfect sense. We are the smartest of the team after all, we've devoted so much of our short little lives to reading and learning and being better than the common little girl. If we had to murder whatever childhood and sense of fun we had, so be it. It's all worth it in exchange for some power and control over our lives. And our friends.

 

Rose winces a little, and glances back at you. You can't think of anything to say.

 

SHADOW ROSE  
It is so much easier to simply hold a sense of intellectual superiority over your friends rather than trust or empathise with them. Patients are better than friends.

ROSE  
I'm aware I have my faults, particularly socially, but these are gross exaggerations. Really, John, I don't -

SHADOW ROSE  
Oh yes, but we can't be blamed for these faults, can we? After all, our mother never let me meet any other little girls and boys, just kept us all cosied up in our mansion, playing passive-aggressive pass the parcel all the day long. I never considered that she might just be lonely and need me, just that she was an evil witch hell-bent on controlling me and -

ROSE  
That is quite enough. This is all getting rather Freudian, and you know as well as I do that his research is generally spurned in the psychological community.

SHADOW ROSE  
And you know his theories can't be entirely discounted. Mother is the first other. In fact, for us, mother was the only other, for a very long time. It's no wonder we took after her as much as we do.

ROSE  
You may want to consider revising your use of pronouns. I don't recall ever having an insufferable twin sister.

SHADOW ROSE  
As usual, doing an excellent job of avoiding the truth. For the Seer, we do have a talent for only seeing what is beneficial to us, rather than observing the picture as a whole. Consider, I have your face, your voice, an intimate knowledge of your psyche...

ROSE  
Is intimate a synonym for “contrived and incorrect” now?

SHADOW ROSE  
Wit as caustic as it is defensive. Let's abstain from endless rhetoric – I am you, the side you like to pretend doesn't exist.

ROSE  
That's just absurd. Enough of this. Use your real face and fight me, you coward.

JOHN  
Rose...

SHADOW ROSE  
How else would I know how much you blame everything around you for your faults, how you can't bear to be knocked from your pedestal, how scared you are of being hurt, how much you desperately want to be acknowledged and loved and how horribly self-centred and untrusting and vile and -

ROSE  
Shut up! This instant. You're not me, and I won't hear any more of this vapid, rambling, theoretical bullshit!

 

The Shadow doesn't cackle like yours did, she just smirks and raises her wands, and you ready your hammer. A bolt of purple light, and she's replaced by a large female figure in a crown, one arm grossly mutated into a tentacle and sitting on a stack of thick books.

I am a shadow, the true self!  
If utter destruction is what it takes to keep me safe, then so be it.


	3. IV: Emperor

Neither of you waste any time in racing to the Land of Heat and Clockwork, Rose was still shaking a little, her hands gripping her new Quills of Echidna, the little tarot card with a picture of Cetus stored in her strife spectibus, as you both raced to where Dave would be facing his Shadow.

You waste no time in bursting in. Dave barely looks at you as you rush to his side.

 

sup guys  
you should check out what this guy is saying its hilarious  
do you put me up to this stupid prank egbert i mean i must be really suggestible in the future or something

 

Shadow Dave is standing in front of them, wearing his old goofy anime shades, wearing a weird red windsock hoodie outfit, and leaning on his sword.

 

SHADOW DAVE  
yo egbert lalonde dont pay any attention to this goober  
im the one laying down all these awesome universal truths on his sorry scrawny ass hes just being too much of a huge bitch to take it

ROSE  
Dave, I suggest you think long and hard about what you say to this version of yourself. This is your Shadow, your other self.

DAVE  
what the shit are you talking about lalonde

SHADOW DAVE  
see this girl knows what is up you should listen to me dude  
cos i can actually talk about all the shit that goes on in my head rather than just rapping like some hipster douchebag and pretending im cool

DAVE  
pretending  
okay now i know this is some weirdass prank dave strider does not pretend to be fucking cool  
dave strider is the king of fucking cool bitch

SHADOW DAVE  
cool guys dont need to be bailed out from under a meteor by their older bro when everybody else could dodge that countdown by themselves  
they also dont try and hide it from their best friend like a huge fucking homo either

JOHN  
huh? wait, dave, did you not get into the medium on time?

DAVE  
shut up john priorities jesus  
so what else you got to lay on me douchebag  
what other bullshit things do you think are chinks in my impenetrable fucking defences

SHADOW DAVE  
you bet your ass we didnt john  
needed to get out bro to cut the meteor in fucking half because we were too acting like pooh bear trying to get his fat fucking paws on some honey how fucking lame is that  
kept it from you because its bad enough youre some awesome god tier hero while were busy fucking around and swinging broken swords around like some prepubescent failure of a knight

DAVE  
oh yaaawn dude youre like the everloving king of who gives a fuck  
stop talking shit drop the stupid video game psychology act and bust out the denizen battle already im a busy dude

SHADOW DAVE  
man rose had me so down with that clouding our vision with ironic eyewear thing  
sweet catch lalonde seriously  
i mean we cant even get that bro is kind of an asshole with some seriously fucked up fetishes or that we should have been running our pansy asses to social services years ago whether we love the dude or not  
but nah im just too busy trying to actually be the guy

DAVE  
blahblahblah more bullshit  
john rose you guys got like a pack of cards or something to play with while this asshole continues his rant  
we could be here a while at this rate

 

The Shadow laughs. Dave's knuckles are white around the hilt of his sword, and his voice isn't as cool and stoic as his words. You open your mouth to say something, but Rose elbows you and gives you a look that says “Just let him get on with it”.

 

SHADOW DAVE  
shit yeah we could i mean i just have all the issues  
all of them. it would take a fucking crack team of shrinks to sort my not safe for work fuckup of a head  
i am just so criminally fucking not cool when you get down to it and the thing is im so transparent everybody already goddamn knows it

DAVE  
bullshit there is no level to me that is not sheer ironic cool

SHADOW DAVE  
yeah whatever if that was true i wouldnt need to hear it so goddamn much would i  
good job i have people like jade and tz around who will play my bullshit game and stroke my ego as much as i fucking need right

DAVE  
alright thats it im getting pretty sick of your shit  
who the fuck are you and what is your deal because you are too much of a whiny bitch to be me

SHADOW DAVE  
hey dumpass you already know who i am  
im you in all your pansy ass jealous insecure fucking glory  
here to remind you how much you wish somebody would crack the fucking armour for you

DAVE  
that is such a crock of shit  
you are not me asshole  
now stop jerking me around and show me who the fuck you really are

 

You and Rose ready your weapons and stick close to Dave as the Shadow laughs and transforms, a giant steel marionette in pointy broken shades, a heart painted on its chest, arms held up by strings, and you swore, if you looked for too long, you could see JPEG artefacts.

 

i am a shadow the true self  
i will be blind to whatever i goddamn please


	4. VI: Lovers

AN: why thank you, kind commentors <3 I AM still doing these, but I've just been crazy busy at the minute, and what fandom time I do have just keeps getting absorbed by RP. But I'm feeling pretty writerly at the minute, so I'm sure I'll be able to do a few trolls soon. in the meantime, HAVE JADE HAVING A MENTAL BREAKDOWN. kids and fun, guys.

 

Dave is still jittery as they leave for the Land of Frost and Frogs, but he tells you that none of you have the time for any more bullshit. He just practices summoning Hephaestus once to get ready to kick Jade's Shadow's ass, and then you're off again.

You burst in and Jade almost shoves you straight back out.

g-guys! get out of here!!!

awwww no don't be so boring! everybody come in!! the more the merrier, huh?

Shadow Jade pulls her other self away from you, and smirks at you all, tilting her head to one side. She's in the fancy black and green dress she made, and there's something really disconcerting about the mean look on her face.

SHADOW JADE  
don't mind her, guys! sit down, listen in, i was just talking about you!!

JADE  
no no no shut up!!!

SHADOW JADE  
hahahahaha!! oh man, look at you all wound up and embarrassed. i thought they were out best friends. i thought we could tell them anything. a-ny-thi-ng!

You decide Jade's Shadow is definitely the creepiest one.

SHADOW JADE  
its no biggie, i was just talking about how tired i am of always running around after you three! sometimes a girl needs a break from your BULLSHIT PROBLEMS!!!

There's a moment of just utter stunned silence. Dave looks like he's just been punched in the stomach, and your expression probably isn't far off.

JADE  
that's...that's not it. guys just don't listen to her, please.

SHADOW JADE  
SHUT THE FUCK UP.  
nobodys ever tried to help us nobodys ever offered to get us into the real world we were just left alone on that island with that fucking doll!! i'm expected to be all nice and sweet and mellow ALL THE FUCKING TIME.

JADE  
just shut up, please.

SHADOW JADE  
come on, jade. it's not like you're really so FUCKING CHIPPER ALL THE TIME. but if you ever showed them how angry you can get

o-or how sad boohoohoohoo

or how so very utterly lonely...

or how scared, how you sometimes just hide in your room at night when bec's away...

or any of that other pathetic bullshit they would have never ever stayed with you!

JOHN  
jade that's not true!

DAVE  
we would never have ditched you yo

Rose pinches you both on the arm and gives you both a stern glare.

SHADOW JADE  
because the truth of the matter is that you hate yourself  
you do and you would hate anybody else knowing  
you hate anybody who reminds you of that part of yourself  
you just hate hate hate under all of that FUCKING SUGAR.

JADE  
shut up!!! you're a goddamn liar.

SHADOW JADE  
aww don't be like that  
can't deal with actually being more than a sunny little ball of fun?  
admitting theres something darker behind that shitty anime cheeriness and those little hearts you sprinkle through your text, is that too hard for you?

JADE  
stop it, stop it! this isn't funny!

SHADOW JADE  
then again it's always been hard, hasn't it? you don't know how to be a real person. we never learned how to talk to people. So we just copy off our shitty baby tv shows or books we've read and pretend we have the tiniest FUCKING CLUE!

JADE  
that's not true!! stop it, just stop it!! i'm not like that, i'm not you.

DAVE  
oh here we go

SHADOW JADE  
hahahahahahahaha

You get ready as the Shadow transforms, replaced with a long-haired blue lady, tentacles sprouting from her waist and masks in each hand, placing one on her face and cackling.

i am a shadow, the true self!!!  
and i will show you every last side of me <3


	5. III: Empress

You've been ignoring every message you've got, ever since you saw her kissing him. You've poured everything inside you into the game instead, drowning out those feelings in your work.

You stand before the Denizen's door, brace yourself for whatever may lie beyond it, and enter.

Hello There Dear

Pardon

You stare at the mirror image standing there, wearing a long, brightly coloured ballgown and a tiara in her hair.

SHADOW KANAYA  
I Said Hello There Kanaya  
Please Attempt To Clear The Wax From Your Ears And Listen More Attentively  
Listening And Comforting Is Your Speciality After All  
And I Have Oh So Much To Get Off My Chest

KANAYA  
What Sort Of Trial Or Trick Is This  
Nobody Mentioned Anything This Peculiar Happening In Their Encounters With Their Denizens

SHADOW KANAYA  
Of Course They Didnt Dear  
Of Course They FUCKING Didnt

She takes a step closer, and you stumble back, almost dropping your lipstick in the process.

SHADOW KANAYA  
Nobody Quite Ever Tells You Anything Do They  
Nothing Desirable At The Very Least Nothing That You Wish To Hear  
Only Their Troubles And Woes Only The Things You Wish Desperately To Understand And Care About  
But You Cannot  
Can You Dear

KANAYA  
This Discourse Is Quickly Heading Into An Area I Am Not Sure I Fully Comprehend However I Find It Is Making Me Distinctly Uncomfortable And Causing Me Much Internal Distress And As Such I Would Appreciate It If You Would -

SHADOW KANAYA  
You Are Rambling Dear  
Hiding Behind Those Pretty Little Words Again I See  
Building Yourself A Castle Of Those Pathetic Little Synonyms And Polite Little Phrases To Hide In And Get Lost In Forever And Ever  
KANAYA  
I Am Doing Nothing Of The Sort  
Quite Frankly I Am Struggling To Understand Your Nonsense In The Slightest

SHADOW KANAYA  
You Understand Dear Please Do Not Lie  
After All We Have Always Been Dreadful At Lying To Anybody Other Than Ourselves

KANAYA  
I

SHADOW KANAYA  
Telling Ourselves We Are Special  
That We Are Like Our Beloved Rainbow Drinkers Or Heroines From Our Favourite Novels  
Bold And Pretty And Loved Ladies Of The Sunlight  
Much Better Than To Admit That You Are Just A Complete FUCKING FREAK

KANAYA  
Stop This

SHADOW KANAYA  
Princess Kanaya Of Prospit  
Queen Kanaya Of The Sun And Desert  
We Live A Blessed Light Under Our Sun Do We Not

KANAYA  
This Is Absurd A Fantasy At Most A Mere Fabrication In An Attempt To Frighten Or Intimidate Me

SHADOW KANAYA  
Living In Our Little Palace Of Coloured Cloth Reading Our Novels And Painting Our Lips For Nobody To See  
Making Clothes Nobody Will Ever Wear And Poetry Nobody Will Ever Read  
Fantasising About Loves We Can Never Have And Stories We Will Never Be A Part Of

KANAYA  
Stop It Stop It Stop It

SHADOW KANAYA  
You Are A FREAK  
You Are Lonely And Unloved  
Nobody Cares About Poor Little Kanaya Nobody Is Riding In To Save Poor Little Kanaya Nobody Even Thinks Twice About Poor Little Kanaya  
Even Our Moiraillegiance With Her Has Been Dead In The Fucking Water For Sweeps

KANAYA  
STOP IT

SHADOW KANAYA  
But We Held On And Held On Too Frightened And Cowardly To Tell Her Why We Clung So Desperately To This Faded Shredded Rag Of A Moiraillegience  
And It All Came To Naught As Usual  
Because She Never Loved Us To Begin With  
Because Nobody Can Care About Me Quite As Much As I Can Care About Them  
We Are Pathetic And Lonely And Useless And So So Bitter And Angry And You Know It You Know It You Know It So Much It Hurts

KANAYA  
SHUT UP! It Has Never Been As You Have Described It  
I Am Not Like You  
I Am Not You

She laughs and grins, baring fangs as macabre glow takes over her body. In a snap, she is replaced by the figure of a glowing woman curled up around herself and wrapped in bright, glittering rags, surrounded by a swirling shield of torn books.

I Am A Shadow The True Self  
And I Do Not Deserve Anything I Desire


	6. XV: Devil

You don't really remember how the hell you got here. That's alright though, you're pretty used to it at this point, you're not really sure what you've been doing for this entire game really.

You just have a vague understanding of some kind of upcoming battle, and you've got some pies and some wicked elixir at the ready. And your clubs, you guess, though you're pretty sure the Denizen is gonna be a pretty chill guy anyway.

Whatever. Let's get this motherfucking party started, honk honk. :o)

honk.  
HONK.  
HoNk?

Holy fucking motherfucking shit oh man.

Double Gamzee! This is a motherfucking miracle of the highest order.

In fact, with you, it's a motherfucking triple Gamzee. But what does it mean?

GAMZEE  
hEy My FiNe MoThErFuCkErS.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
honk.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
HONK.

GAMZEE  
MaN aRe We EvEr GoNnA hAvE tHe MoSt BiTcHtItS mOtHeRfUcKiNg TiMe HeRe. LeTs SlAm SoMe FaYgOs AnD rAp SoMe MoThErFuCkInG zEaLoUs PrAyErS hErE bRoThErS.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
honk.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
HONK.

GAMZEE  
mOtHeRfUcKeRs ArEn'T tOo TaLkAtIvE aRe YoU? iT's CoOl JuGgAbRoS gOtTa Go WiTh WhAt YoU mOtHeRfUcKiNg FeEl, sHiT, yOu GeT Me?

SHADOW GAMZEE  
hey motherfucker.

SHADOW GAMZEE.  
SHUT THE FUCK UP.

GAMZEE  
wOoOoAh ThE fUcK?

SHADOW GAMZEE  
you're talking some wicked shit there brother but

SHADOW GAMZEE  
YOU KNOW IT'S ALL FUCKING LIES.

GAMZEE  
tHe ShIt MaN?

SHADOW GAMZEE  
you never been going with your feelings motherfucker you never listen to your own damn brain.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
BECAUSE WHAT GOES THROUGH YOUR HEAD SCARES THE MOTHERFUCKING SHIT OUT OF YOU.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
this miracles bullshit ain't gonna last, brother, one day you're gonna learn these things don't motherfucking happen.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
WHEN YOU GET YOUR MOTHERFUCKING THINKPAN AROUND THAT WICKED REVELATION THE DARK CARNIVAL CAN BEGIN BROTHER

GAMZEE  
HeY, bRoThErS, yOu'Re KiNdA wIgGiNg Me OuT wItH tHiS sHiT. MotHeRfUcKiNg ScArY sHiT gEtTiNg AlL uP iN mY gRiLl HeRe.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
you shouldn't be the one getting all scared, juggabro.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
YOU SHOULD BE THE ONE STRIKING the MOTHERFUCKING FEAR, MY SUBJUGGALATOR BROTHER. YOU'RE A BORN FUCKING KILLER BROTHER.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
you honk about all these miracles on your doorstep, and the motherfucking mirthful messiah, and all this motherfucking rainbows and peace shit to all your brothers and sister but...

SHADOW GAMZEE  
ALL THE WHILE YOU'RE THINKING WHAT THEIR HEAD WOULD LOOK LIKE ON A MOTHERFUCKING STICK

SHADOW GAMZEE  
and the miracles you could paint in their motherfucking blood

SHADOW GAMZEE  
THE SOUNDS THEIR BONES WOULD MAKE AS YOU BEAT THEM AGAINST THE MOTHERFUCKING WALL OVER AND OVER AND OVER

SHADOW GAMZEE  
sick motherfucker dirty motherfucker fucked up motherfucker.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
KILLED THEM ALL A MOTHERFUCKING MILLION TIMES IN YOUR HEAD HAVEN'T YOU, BROTHER?

SHADOW GAMZEE  
only a matter of motherfucking time before the miracles die and you bring the fucking carnage.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
ISN'T THAT RIGHT, MOTHERFUCKER? HONK. THEN IT'LL JUST BE ME, HIM AND YOU. HONK! :O)

GAMZEE  
I...i FuCk MoThErFuCkErS i DoN't WaNnA mOthErFuCkInG...y-Y-yOu'Re MoTheRfUcKiNg ScArInG mE bRoThErS...FUCK.

You feel ill and dizzy.

SHADOW GAMZEE  
you're gonna kill all those mothefuckers you wanna kill all those motherfuckers dirty fucker

SHADOW GAMZEE  
DON'T TRY TO MOTHERFUCKING LIE ABOUT IT.

GAMZEE  
fuck i don't...MOTHERFUCKER STOP IT mOtHeRfUcK hElP hElP MOTHERFUCKING HELP ME MOTHERFUCKERS fuck fuck fuck!

Everything goes dark...

yeah you motherfucking sleep tight brother  
WE'RE NOT GOING MOTHERFUCKING ANYWHERE.


End file.
